Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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