I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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