so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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