You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize