I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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