no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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