Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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