Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
