Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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