Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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