the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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