he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
