if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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