Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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