Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
