it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
