One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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