judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize