I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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