The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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