i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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