He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
