covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
