Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize