i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize