2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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