So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
