I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
