I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
