First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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