He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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