she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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