I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Randomize
