I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
