How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
