Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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