I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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