I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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