Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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