wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
