I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
