Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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