We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
