Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
