She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
