Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize