How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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