Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
