You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
