NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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