Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
