It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Randomize