Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
