I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize