I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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