I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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