that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
