Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
