She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
