Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
