I think i sorta joined a cult last night
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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