I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize