did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
