if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
