Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
