apparently the secret to your success is patron
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
