Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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